(A
few things I’ve learned in this life…in no particular order)
Life is hard
sometimes. Sometimes it will beat you
up, keep you down. Sometimes it will
scare the bejeepers out of you. But life
is also yin and yang. For all the bad,
there are equal measures good. The trick
is to find the balance. For bad will
find you, seek you out, hunt you down. It
is up to you to seek, find, create
the good. Happiness. Peace. They’re
both there for you in this life, but you have to work to achieve them…
Remember:
In this life you
will be hurt. Sometimes by those who
don’t mean you harm, sometimes by those who do.
Forgive the former, forget the latter.
In this life you
will be betrayed. You will be abandoned,
cast out, shunned, and rejected. But you
will also be comforted, befriended, admired, uplifted, loved.
You will be
inspired by some. Others will be inspired by you.
You will laugh.
You will cry. You will win. You will
lose. You will feel pain. Pain of emotional, physical, and mental sorts. Yet you will also sometimes feel warm and
fuzzy. Comfortable, relaxed, safe. You will experience elation, merriment, good
cheer, and fellowship with your mates. You’ll know the soothe of warm winds,
soft touches, the snuggle of a purring kitten in your lap, the whisper of love
in your ear.
Sometimes you will
feel strong and vibrant and powerful, on top of your world… indomitable. Enjoy those times, but remain humble. Remember
humility. For there will be times to come
when you feel weak and wounded, lonely and depressed, feeble, worthless,
unloved and anonymous. Do not give in to
the lower moments of your life, but remember the times when you were strong,
the mountains you’ve climbed, and tribulations you’ve overcome; draw on that
memory to lift yourself up again for you know that strength is always within
you. Allow it to erupt again from
dormancy in a renewed volcano of strength.
But do not let that strength overrun and burn and char everything and
everyone in its path. Remember
humility. Always.
You will witness
ugliness and inhumanity, war and death.
But beauty and great humanity never abandon us. When towers burn and people flee, there are
always those who rush to, rather than away, who seek to help, to rescue, to save,
rather than destroy and hurt. Humanity
never abandons us, even when inhumanity surrounds us.
You will experience
joy, and wonder, and ecstasy. Sometimes,
even fleeting peace and contentment. But
you will also fall prey to humankind’s baser emotions of jealousy, envy, spitefulness,
prejudice and yes, even hatred. Do not
hate for it is a waste of your energy. Only your own heart, chakra, or Qi will
be affected by this hatred, while the object of this emotion will always roll
on their merry way leaving you to suffer and smolder inside. Give it up; life is too short and nobody
deserves to suck such a powerful force from you; reserve that energy for
positive applications.
You will do things
that you make you proud. You will also regret
moments that do not make you proud. Don’t
waste time on regret. Learn
instead. And do not beat yourself up for
you are human and imperfect, but also perfectly human.
You will make
mistakes. You will fail and experience defeat.
You will fall… And yet, you will
also triumph and overcome. You will get up. You will move on. You will learn and grow.
Speaking of
learning and growing, you will continue to do so over the course of your life.
But so will the people who come into your life.
Sometimes this learning and growing will occur together. And sometimes this growth will widen your
differences until you eventually fade from each other’s lives. This is not the end of either “The” World, or
your world. Wounds will heal and hearts can
only hurt, not break.
You will encounter
those who believe their “Faith” is the “Answer” and that you should follow
their lead to a purpose that they alone are privy to. You will also encounter those who do not
believe there is anything greater than what they see around them, or that
“Science” has “Proven.” They will both
be right. And they will also both be
wrong. For there is no answer or purpose
that fits us all like a magic slipper.
There is only Life. Each life is
to be lived by the individual proprietor of that life. And each truth is to be discovered and
embraced by that individual.
In a sense, we all
come from the same place. And whether one
believes that to be a garden of Utopian bliss, or a primordial mud of
replicating cells, does not matter. For we
also all come from different places, values, and experiences. And no matter where we believe our lineage
lies, whatever happens after this
life is ultimately a mystery to both those who Believe, or Dis-believe. So do not concern yourself so much with the
“Afterlife.” Live in the here, the
now. Because now is all you got. Do not plan so much for tomorrow that you
neglect today. The future, your future, will sort itself out in the
end.
Life is full of wonder. Take the time to feel the cold sea water rush
over your toes…and squeal. Lay down on
your belly and watch the bustle of ants about their colony, their lives not so
different from ours, each ant an individual, yet working together to make life
more comfortable for each other. Cradle a
baby in your arms and smell its new life and listen to its little breaths as it
sleeps…trusting you to keep it safe
and warm and loved.
Love someone with
all your heart, abandoning your guard for all the times your heart has been
wounded. For love is always a gamble, a
leap of faith and trust; do not let those who’ve hurt you in your past continue
to hurt you in your present; do not make a new love pay for the lost trust and
hurt of those broken loves. Do not be afraid to love.
Cherish your
friends. Some will move into, then out
of your life, for all sorts of reasons. Cherish
them while they are there for you. For
they will need you sometimes…and you in turn, shall sometimes need to lean on
them. Do not mourn or regret those who
discard your friendship, they are simply on another path that converged for a
time with yours, then diverged again as you both moved on. I once knew a friend, a wise philosopher, who
explained why he did not lament that some of his friends chose to walk out of
his life, usually over petty disagreements, misunderstandings, or change of
hearts: “There are 350 million people in this country,” he said, “if I need a
friend, I’ll go out and make one!” What a concept. So simple.
So true.
Of course, some
friends, those closest in your heart, will remain for a lifetime. You might not see them often, they might even
live on the opposite side of a continent.
But as long as they are in your mind, your heart, they are your truest
friends. And they are priceless. Cherish them.
Smile and laugh with them. Hold
their hands. Hug and most of all, love
them. Tell them you love them. That
you appreciate and are grateful you have them in your life. For you will help them get through all this, and
they will do the same for you.
Remember that none
of us are islands in this life. For
though roiling seas may separate us on the surface, all islands are connected
beneath the ocean as part of the mantle crust over the bubbling, magma nucleus of
Earth. Even Jesus and Darwin would agree
on that. We are a communal species, who
like that ant colony, need each other to survive, live, and thrive. So do not seek to demean or diminish or
injure one another. For the strengths
and weaknesses we all possess can be employed either to help…or exploit. And those who currently enjoy success and
wealth and prosperity, might someday find the polarity of their world reversed
and be dependent on the charity and compassion of those whom they once
oppressed, disdained, or ignored.
Be kind. Be charitable. Smile more than you sneer. Better yet, abandon sneering altogether; it
does not become you. Of course, sneer
too often and it does become you…
Wag more, bark
less. Learn and live this simple truth
of the dog for he is Humanity’s best friend.
Oh do we have so much to learn from the dog. Eons ago, we welcomed him into our caves and
huts, to sit by our fire, eat our scraps, and extend him our
companionship. And to this day, he remains
eternally grateful; he repays our kindness so many, many times over. If only we could embrace more the best
attributes of the dog in ourselves; if only we could heed his enduring lesson
of loyalty, faithfulness, and unconditional love.
Control is an
illusion. None of us are in control of
our fates. We can only equip ourselves
to deal with whatever fate decides to deal out to us. And it’s not the cards you’re dealt so much,
but how you play those cards. Sometimes
you hold ’em, other times you fold ’em; sometimes you bluff…
Never forget that
in this life, we are all terminal cases. And whether your end in this life comes
suddenly and unexpectedly, or miserably and painfully after a long drawn out
illness…what I’ve learned is that there are no merciful deaths. Good people die young, before “their
time.” And old age is not an
accomplishment, only the “luck” of the draw.
And yes, I mean to convey that with some sarcasm, as the many deaths
I’ve witnessed in my time caring for the elderly population are not merciful at
all. More often than not, only
suffering, abandonment, and neglect attends those at the “end stage of
life.” Sometimes it is a product of the
life lived by that person. More often,
it’s because the young and vibrant do not allot time in their lives or hearts, they
claim their own lives are too “busy” to repay the debt to those who gave and sacrificed
so much of themselves. They forget all
those vulnerable years when they were
so dependent on the wisdom, strong arms, and comfort of their elders. I’m here to tell you, if you’re “lucky”
enough to achieve your “golden”
years, you most certainly will need the strength and comfort of younger arms and
hearts. For each of us is reduced to a
diminished, weaker, and more dependent semblance of ourselves in the end. So try not to forget. Make the time in your busy life. Repay the debt. For what goes around, truly does come
around.
None of us are
immune to the basic human need for each other, and none of us are getting out
of this alive. So be there for each other. Help one another. As we learned in kindergarten, when the class
is on field trip, and we have to cross the street, we do it together…holding hands. So hold on, stay together…
Be gracious. Be grateful.
Be great!
Dream. Aspire.
Desire. Yes, desire is okay too,
but only if you don’t allow it to overcome or consume you.
Take it as it
comes. Make the best of it. Teach your children well. Make lemonade out of lemons. Above all, don’t worry, be happy. For this too, shall pass.
Life is a
miracle. Each birth, each new life is
reminder and testament to that truth. A
budding tree in the Spring, a crocus pushing up through still snow covered
earth, a litter of yet blind kittens suckling at the warmth of their mother’s
belly, a foal’s stumbling first steps on spindly legs…a baby emergent through
the dark shelter of its mother’s womb to the bright light of the world…the
preciousness, the wonder of it all will continue to astound…if you but open
your mind and heart to that miracle.
So what I’ve
learned so far in this life is that: Life
is beauty. Life is a gift. Life is temporary. While you’re here, while you’re alive,
utilize this gift, this miracle to…LIVE, LEARN, but most of all…LOVE.
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