Sometimes I think all the Universe is aligned against me,
conspiring to keep me from realizing my dreams, my potential…
Ever have one of those frustration nightmares, when you’re
trying to accomplish something or get somewhere and everything keeps going
wrong? I have a recurring nightmare of
this sort; typically it entails me trying to get to the beach, and into the
water when I know there is an epic swell happening. Usually I am all set to go, pack up the car
with boards and wetsuits and go experience the epicness…only, I’m always
missing one key piece of equipment.
Maybe it’s a wetsuit bootie, or my leash, and for the remainder of the
dream I wander around trying to locate this missing item, this one item I MUST
have before I can get in the water. At
various points during this nightmare, I will gaze out and see other surfers
getting the rides of their lives…but I will still be on land, waiting to paddle
out, looking for a missing fin or some stupid thing…
Last week one of my long-time dreams seemed to maybe, just
maybe, beginning to materialize; the break I’ve been waiting for, working and
suffering for over 30 years, my dream of publishing one of my novels, seemed
might be attainable after all…
Nothing earth-shattering, it is still only a “nibble.” Yet, I did manage to garner a request from a
literary agent, the exclusive right to consider my literary novel, TROLL, about
a hermit surfer and his long-lost daughter who travels all the way across a
continent to find him. When approaching
agents, you usually begin with a (very) short introductory query letter,
describing your project in no more than three or four (very) short paragraphs,
and hoping (desperately) that they might be intrigued enough to have a
look. This particular agent I submitted
to likes to see a small (10 page) sample of your work along with the
query. Now, most of these queries and
proposal packages are rejected outright, in fact, they say 98% of all materials
submitted are rejected. If you’re a
writer, you better reconcile with that rejection ratio, otherwise you’ll find
yourself (as some do) jumping off the nearest high bridge out of frustration
and depression. Rarely (exceedingly so,)
does an agent request any further material after this initial probe. Most times, you’re lucky to receive a
response at all, and when they do bother, it’s often after weeks or even months
of anxious speculation over the fate of your work.
So I got a nibble.
Like I say, not earth-shattering, but significant in that this agent
asked for more! Yippee! (Careful Mo, you’ve been in this position before, only
to have your hopes ultimately (yet again) crushed and mushed into a puree of
woe and heartbreak…
Wanting to look “professional,” I of course wanted to send
off the manuscript right away! Only
problem is, the agent wants it in a format (14pt font rather than the usual
12pt) that I hadn’t counted on. No
biggie, that’s what computers are for; go back and switch it up, right? Sure,
only I have to go through the entire manuscript as I do so, and renumber all
the pages and make sure all the space breaks and new chapter headings are
aligned…
So I do all this.
Only after printing the first 40 pages, my printer cartridge runs out of
ink. No problem. Except that I don’t have another cartridge,
nor do I have the money (bank account in the negative) to purchase one. No worries, one of my co-workers whom I often
give rides to promised she’d give me gas money over the weekend. Only when it comes time, she only has:
$3 Seriously. Three lousy bucks! But all is not lost. I remember I have a
friend that I’m repairing his dinged surfboard; all I have to do is fix it
quickly and deliver it, and get paid!
So I spend most of the weekend working on the board, thinking
I have it fixed (twice!) only to discover new dings I’d not noticed each time I
loaded it into the car to bring it over to him.
Aaaarrrgh! Back into the workshop, sanding, glassing, sanding some more…
Finally, this morning, I do get it to him, he pays, and I
run over to Wally World for my ink cartridge and shipping labels and the
special envelope the agent wants me to send with my manuscript. Whew!
Run home to recommence printing.
Yay!
Only…because the font size is larger, the manuscript numbers
considerably more pages than I anticipated, and…wait for this…no, really, wait…with
only twenty more pages to print…I RUN OUT OF @#$%&* INK!!! AGAIN!!!
Now, broke again, and having to go back to my real world job…the
project, my dream, my LIFE…hangs in the balance…
Nightmare. Molasses
footed nightmare…
Oy, at least tomorrow is payday…
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